Figuring it out

So today I woke up with a plan. I knew I wanted to reinvent myself but wasn't sure where to begin. After a very restless night, I kinda figured it out. I needed an outlet. Something to distract me from everything else going on in my life. A type of jumping off point, so to speak. What did I want to become with this new me? What were my goals? I knew that I wanted to lose the rest of my weight and become healthy. I also knew that I wanted to reach my goal of running a marathon by the time I'm 30. So I decided to start with my body. Why not? If I am fit and trim and healthy then I might be motivated to change more outward appearances that could lead to self confidence which ultimately could lead to an internal change. Sounds a little backwards but I've never been one to do things in order.

So I'm going to run. I worked all day today and came home and ran. It was freezing cold outside and I felt like my face was going to crack, my lungs were going to explode, and my calves were going to split in two. Funny thing happened. I was focusing on running to the next landmark, feeling the pain in my legs and lungs, and pushing myself to the limit. Suddenly that was all that mattered. I forgot about the divorce, the pain in my heart, the noise in my head went away, nothing else mattered but running.

So the reinvention is starting with running. I'm going to blog a lot. I want to remember what this feels like so that if I ever want to make the same mistake twice.....I have a permanent reminder. I've also decided to stop caring about what everyone else thinks. I was not put on this earth to please everyone. If someone doesn't like me then that is fine. Their choice. Must remember that, "Your opinion of me is none of my business!"